Old Titan Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Haha thats funny OT, I work right next to those girls. My condolences - they are a merciless band of sirens, and they must be stopped before they take over the world. I saw some poor 40-something-year-old schmuck like me over there the other day. He had regrettably fallen under the spell of their Jedi Mind Trick sales pitch, and was in the throes of having his palm rubbed so hard with lotion it was making his knees buckle, hypnotized by the vixen's relentless assault on his frontal lobe and Visa balance. I felt compelled to do the right thing and hurl myself at her to break the spell, then wisk him to safety with a fireman's carry, but frankly I was afraid I, too, might get sucked into her demonic vortex. I have no doubt the poor sap woke up dazed and confused hours later in a dumpster behind Hot Dog On A Stick, with no recollection at all of having purchased $195.00 worth of biogenic skin cream and a loofah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldeneagles09 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 yeah... sounds about right. Lucky for you they are closing down for a few months in a few days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManiacAlum Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I would like to see a no-holds barred cage match between those girls and the dudes who yell- "Hey man, who's your cell phone plan with?!" I bet if you told those guys that your cell phone was free every month, they could tell you some scheme on how they could GIVE you money and how you're an idiot for walking away. Just put a couple of credit cards at the top of the cage and let them scrap for it. I'd still take the girls, but it would be a bloodbath. The UFC would probably even say it was too brutal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmh8286 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 My condolences - they are a merciless band of sirens, and they must be stopped before they take over the world. I saw some poor 40-something-year-old schmuck like me over there the other day. He had regrettably fallen under the spell of their Jedi Mind Trick sales pitch, and was in the throes of having his palm rubbed so hard with lotion it was making his knees buckle, hypnotized by the vixen's relentless assault on his frontal lobe and Visa balance. I felt compelled to do the right thing and hurl myself at her to break the spell, then wisk him to safety with a fireman's carry, but frankly I was afraid I, too, might get sucked into her demonic vortex. I have no doubt the poor sap woke up dazed and confused hours later in a dumpster behind Hot Dog On A Stick, with no recollection at all of having purchased $195.00 worth of biogenic skin cream and a loofah. That's arguably the funniest piece of writing you've ever done, OT. (Lines demonstrating sheer genius in bold.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Titan Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 That's arguably the funniest piece of writing you've ever done, OT. (Lines demonstrating sheer genius in bold.) I'm sure everyone would agree you are WAY too kind. But enough about perils at the mall - time to get this thread back on the tracks, before the McClintock family reads it and wonders why they don't have better security at Woodland Hills. To which I would reply: try Utica Square. I have yet to be attacked by any lotion-squirting divas at Restoration Hardware. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmh8286 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I go to the mall once a year; I go at Christmas to get gift certificates for may staff. I park near the west, upper-floor entrance to Penney's, I walk through the store, down the escalator, over to the service desk, get what I came for, and exit by the same path I entered. So I really don't know what you're talking about. But have you ever tried, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" when one of those girls comes calling?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Titan Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I go to the mall once a year; I go at Christmas to get gift certificates for may staff. I park near the west, upper-floor entrance to Penney's, I walk through the store, down the escalator, over to the service desk, get what I came for, and exit by the same path I entered. So I really don't know what you're talking about. But have you ever tried, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" when one of those girls comes calling?? No - they frighten me. I just kind of smile weakly and shift into my Michael Hairston speed walking imitation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ORUTerry Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 The point guard from Akron reminds me of Hunter McClintock..... floppy hair and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cornelius Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Watching the NCAA tournament just shows how important a player who can handle the ball and find openings for his teammates can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otis 83 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Pardon my late reaction to the news, and to save being redundant I'll just say that I agree with most of everyone's excitement about our potential recruit. I noticed in his interview he mentioned Elon as a strong possibility. For those that aren't familiar with the school, Elon is a very small Presbyterian-based college in North Carolina. That alone tells me a lot about the type of kid he is. The fact that he is STARTING at Patterson says even more about his ability. I'm sure he'll have to adjust to the learning curve like all freshman, but kids coming from a schools like Patterson, Montross Christian, Oak Hill Academy, etc are always a lot further along than their counterparts. With ORU being a mid-major, I wouldn't be surprised to see him getting significant minutes as a freshman. My late father was a proud alumni of Elon College. When he attended there he was student body president and the editor of the school paper. He served on their alumni board. (he also hitchhiked to Chapel Hill and Durham for a lot of basketball and football games). But when I was in high school it was ORU, not Elon, that he encouraged me to attend. Son, listen to my father. ORU is the place for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oruvoice Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 That's arguably the funniest piece of writing you've ever done, OT. (Lines demonstrating sheer genius in bold.) Do you two have 'man crush' on each other, or what? Geez. A little scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmh8286 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Say what you will, voice, but you've got to admit, that's pretty funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Titan Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Do you two have 'man crush' on each other, or what? Geez. A little scary. Nothing like the affection we all share for you, Big Daddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmh8286 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Nothing like the affection we all share for you, Big Daddy. Maybe voice has found himself falling prey to the wiles of said Sirens, and is attempting to redirect some of his angst from that experience. To put it another way, maybe he's BEEN the guy in the dumptster behind Hot Dog On A Stick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oruvoice Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Sirens rubbing me with lotion??? Sounds good! I'm heading to the mall at lunch time!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmh8286 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Sirens rubbing me with lotion??? Sounds good! I'm heading to the mall at lunch time!!! Now that's pretty funny, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texasgrip Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Enough with the budding bromance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ORU Eli Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I can't stop laughing and yet at the same time be discouraged at the plummet this thread has taken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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